Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Guest Appearance: Lessons of a Pregnant Husband

It's lunch time here at the law school, which means I have a few minutes to do whatever I want.  So, for you reading pleasure, here are three of the lessons I have learned as a first time pregnant husband.  Despite the fact that not a single man on earth reads these girly blogs, I will press onward:

Lesson #1: Dont' buy in bulk. Buy food in the smallest quantities humanly possible.  In fact, if you figure out a way to buy a single stick of gum at a time, do it. Their favorite food today will make them gag tomorrow.

Lesson #2: Avert your eyes during "the video" when the placenta delivered.  The birth itself is not bad.  Watching what comes afterwards is akin to looking directly at a solar eclipse.

Lesson #3:  If you lose your job, become a doula.  Pregnant women will pay big money for someone to practice this witchcraft.  From the presentation we saw, apparently all you need to do is tell pregnant woman to contort their body in the weirdest positions possible, and then claim that this opens up the pelvis for the baby to slide down.  Throw in some moaning noises are you are a certified doula! ;)

All joking aside, Jessica has been amazing every second of her pregnancy.  I am so proud of her.  She still works full-time, giggles every time the baby kicks, and does it all with a smile.

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